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With my time off between computer jobs I decided to take a few radio courses
since it has always been an interest of mine. I signed up at Dean College in
Franklin since they're close by and have a rock 'n' roll station with decent
range. I ended up with the 2:00-5:00 PM shift on Saturdays. During my shows
I always try to go the extra mile to entertain my listeners (after all, any
idiot can spin tunes & read the news, sports & weather), often having a
theme for each show.
Things were going fine until Easter weekend. Being smack dab between Good Friday and Easter Sunday I decided it would be a great idea to entertain my listeners with some religious jokes - figuring they'd stay tuned so they'd have some good ones to tell their friends that night and their family the next day at Easter Dinner. During my crossover with DJ Cream I joked that I was confused about Easter and said Isn't that where Jesus comes out of his hole, and if he sees his shadow we get six more weeks of winter?", then said that I was confused about it, found it "farfetched", and joked that I needed a listener to call and explain it to me. A few minutes later the phone rang and the caller proceeded to explain Easter to me. I was really polite to him (no need to aggravate my listeners, right?) as we discussed religion. He said I "Dis'ed Jesus". I told him I thought Jesus seems like a pretty good guy but I had a real problem with organized religion. He asked why and I told him how almost all of the world's wars are religious ones, how the Church stands in the way of science, how they kill anyone who disagrees with them, then told him about Giovanni Bruno (who was burned at the stake for hypothesizing that the Earth was not the center of the Universe), and Galileo (who was imprisoned by the Church until he recanted his round Earth theories), etc. I asked him what he thought about that and he said he didn't know anything about "ancient history" (he probably really started hating me at this point because I exposed his ignorance about his own religion). I was genuinely surprised someone actually bothered to call, then figured it would be best to lay off the religious jokes for an hour so as not to aggravate this listener any more (figuring - correctly as it turned out - that no good could come of it). Over an hour later (while doing the 3:30 news) I was reporting the Elian Gonzales story and I joked that I saw a crucifix in the Gonzales house, was wondering what the letters I.N.R.I. on the cross stood for, and asked my listeners to call in and let me know. About 10 minutes later I joked that I got a few calls informing me it stood for "I'm Nailed Right In" (I know it's pretty tasteless - but also very funny). A little while later I read this timely joke about Jesus and Moses: "Jesus Christ and Moses are bored in heaven so they decide to go down to earth and relive some of their good times. They arrive near a lake, Moses looks at it, and parts the water. He says 'Boy, it feels great to do that again' Jesus starts walking across the lake, after going about 20 feet out he sinks. He swims back to shore and Moses asks 'What happened?', Jesus replies 'Last time I walked on water I didn't have these holes in my feet!'" I was really getting in a groove and the next break I joked that I met a blonde last night who thought she was the messiah - because she got nailed 3 times on Good Friday. A little later I joked that Jimi Hendrix would be the one being resurrected - then played my "Jimi Hendrix Cremation Concert" bit, which is a funny fake concert spot I created. A couple minutes later I got a call from WGAO General Manager Vic Michaels and he wasn't happy. A religious nut forced Dean College Security to page him - he told me to lay off the religious jokes (fortunately I still had a few non-religious Easter jokes for the remaining part of my show). Next I told my listeners they shouldn't get an Easter Bunny since they make lousy pets. What they should do instead is take their cat and tie or tape its back legs together, put a few socks over its head - and it will look just like a floppy-eared Easter rabbit. My final joke was the classic What's the best thing about Alzheimer's disease? - You can hide your own Easter eggs". A few minutes later I got a call from the department head, Nancy Kerr - apparently this previously mentioned religious nut had her paged too! (I found out later he also called her at home on Easter morning to make sure I got thrown off the air - talk about an unbalanced individual). Turns out this self-righteous guy is the father of one of the people who do a "Christian Music" show that airs a few hours before my show (which, being an atheist, I find extremely offensive). The Christian Music show really hurts the DJ's who follow it as it causes listeners to change the station - leaving us with virtually no audience. Also, the Christian Rock DJ's sound very unprofessional - I don't think they have any training and they sound like they don't know what they're doing. The only reason they have a show is that they pestered the college until they said OK - they do not even donate any money to the school. It seems that, even though I was a paying student, the non-paying Christians get preferential treatment. And even though this country was founded on religious freedom it seems atheists have no rights. Remember - the vast majority of people do not believe in Jesus - they're Buddhists, Hindus, Jews, or Muslims etc. There are a ton of religions out there and joking about them can only help us to understand them better. Besides - how do they know I'm not The Messiah? (LOL) Anyway, after getting a phone call from the department head I surmised (correctly as it turned out) there was a good chance I'd be losing my show. I signed off by telling my listeners what happened and saying it was a very mean thing for this nut to do. I also asked if Jesus would have done that and said "sometimes the most religious people act the least Christian" - I bet the religious zealot went ballistic when he heard that:-). Tuesday when I showed up for class I was called into the department head's office and was told I was being suspended. I said I felt really bad for my loyal listeners. It's important to remember I was suspended only because one (obviously mentally unbalanced individual) didn't like my show. I broke no station rules (although the station handbook is being amended in my honor) or FCC regulations and what I said was typical of what you'd hear on any commercial FM station, in fact I got some of those very jokes read on WHJY's weekly joke contest "Stump the DJ" a few days earlier. Clearly people overreacted (and how weak is a religion if it can't stand up to a few jokes). The more I learn about religion the more I realize the world would be a better place without it. After all, nearly all the world's wars are religious ones: the Bosnians hate the Serbs, the Arabs are always fighting "infidels" and it seems everyone hates the unfortunate Jews - what a mess. And the Irish don't have any Jews to hate so the Catholics and Protestants fight each other instead - why can't we all live in peace? As far as my radio show goes - a little controversy is actually a good thing - it certainly improves ratings. And as much as that religious nut hated my show he found it so riveting that he stayed tuned for the whole 3 hours and paid very close attention to what I had to say - even calling in his complaints to Dean College Security after each joke. It's really sad - even though I'm the victim I was treated like the guilty party (now I can begin to understand how rape victims feel when taking the stand). I'm very disappointed with both the Station GM Vic Michaels, and his boss Nancy Kerr (click here to let them know how you feel). Instead of standing up for what's right for a student they did what was easiest for them (I've found this to be typical of both Dean College students and faculty) and tried to brush the problem under the rug - figuring it would go away. It sets a very bad precedent. |
