Mike Schuster ｷ 19-time "Stump the D.J." Winner

Mike "" Gonsalves
September 17, 1962 - February 20, 2003 Click here

"Stump the DJ" Joke Contest

I find Paul & Al's Stump the DJ the most consistently entertaining hour of radio on the air (tune in to 94.1 FM Thursday mornings at 9:00AM to listen). I remember the first time I heard it just over a decade ago - I thought "This is great, these guys want to hear jokes that I often get criticized for telling". A few years earlier I had written a joke computer program that contained hundreds of jokes. The next week I searched the data files of my joke program for some timely Thanksgiving jokes, found a few, called in for the first time, and won!!! I thought "This is easy - I'm going to win every week". Well, I haven't won every week but I did win 4 times in the first year! Since then I've come to know Paul & Al quite well and have become a regular contributor to their show. I was even invited to shave and paint my head live on the air in preparation for SuperBowls XXXI, XXXVI, and XXXVIII (click here for audio and photos) and Contributing to the Paul & Al show has become one of my most satisfying hobbies and I've been honored to have been named winner of Stump the D.J. 19 times !

Something some people just can't fathom is how Paul & Al remember so many jokes - in fact one listener was convinced that they look up jokes on a computer when they're phoned in. click here to listen (10/26/00).

Click the links below to listen - and if you have a good joke you can email it to me by clicking here.

19th win: Michael Jackson, How to Tell if You're Gay - 6/16/05 18th win: Close Encounters - January 6, 2005 17th win: S.W.A.T. Teams - April 22, 2004 16th win: Sausage Whacking - July 17, 2003 15th win: Gorilla Joke Part 1ｷｷｷPart 2 - October 11, 2001 14th win: Weakest Link - July 12, 2001 13th win: Jewish Mother - February 15, 2001 Near win: Patriots Joke - September 21, 2000 12th win: What's Yellow & Green...? - August 17, 2000 11th win: Backstreet Boys - March 23, 2000 10th win: State Workers - May 27, 1999 9th win: The Elephant Joke - June 1998 Near win: Roman Fellatio - December 12, 1996 6th win: Beer Jokes Part 1ｷｷｷPart 2 - Spring 1996 5th win: French Kiss Joke - July 28, 1994 4th win: More Turkey Day Jokes - November 25, 1992 3rd win: Golf and Cows - September 17, 1992 2nd win: Beautiful Girl on a Bus... - June 4, 1992 1st win: Thanksgiving Jokes - November 27, 1991

More of "Stump the DJ"

Xmas Jokes - 12/19/91 ｷｷｷ Pizza Wars - 05/07/92 ｷｷｷ MS-150 Bicycling - 06/11/92 ｷｷｷ Transcontinental Railroad - 06/18/92 ｷｷｷ Polish Proctology - 08/13/92 ｷｷｷ Priests and Bears - 08/27/92 ｷｷｷ Amy Fisher Drink - 01/07/93 ｷｷｷ Michael Jackson Glove - 02/11/93 ｷｷｷ Pizza and Miss R.I. - 03/18/93 ｷｷｷ Blondes and Miss R.I. - 03/18/93 ｷｷｷ Don Cortisone - 03/25/93 ｷｷｷ Single Holiday & Bingo 04/01/93 ｷｷｷ Lawyers in Heaven? - 04/01/93_ ｷｷｷ Easter and Alzheimers - 04/08/93 ｷｷｷ Polish Highway Worker and Armless DJ - 04/15/93 ｷｷｷ Cats & Dogs, plus a Doctor - 04/22/93 ｷｷｷ Fishing, French Asthma, & David Letterman - 06/24/93 ｷｷｷ Mexican Jokes - 1/6/94 ｷｷｷ Monkey Jokes - 8/25/94 ｷｷｷ Giraffe Jokes, Corvette Club - Summer 1994 ｷｷｷ Whorehouse Nationalities - Summer 1994 ｷｷｷ Engagement Jokes - 7/13/95 ｷｷｷ Paul's Barium Enema - 11/95 ｷｷｷ SuperBowl - 1/25/96 ｷｷｷ Paul's 40th & Einstein Joke - 3/14/96 ｷｷｷ Easter Jokes - Spring 1996 ｷｷｷ Mountain Goats - Spring 1996 ｷｷｷ Len Bias - June 1996 ｷｷｷ Wedding Jokes - June 1996 ｷｷｷ Plane Crash - July 1996 ｷｷｷ Peter Sellers - 1996 ｷｷｷ Margot Adams - 1996 ｷｷｷ Michael Jackson - 8/29/96 ｷｷｷ Dog & Mosquito Jokes - 1996 ｷｷｷ Oktoberfest Beer - 9/96 ｷｷｷ Chelsea Clinton & NY Jets Jokes - 11/7/96 ｷｷｷ Roman Fellatio - 12/12/96 ｷｷｷ St. Patricks Day - March 1997 ｷｷｷ Easter - April 1997 ｷｷｷ Flatulence - Spring 1997 ｷｷｷ Golf - Spring 1997 ｷｷｷ Lesbians - Spring 1997 ｷｷｷ Comedians & Proctologists, etc, - Spring 1997 ｷｷｷ Divorce - Spring 1997 ｷｷｷ O.J. Simpson - June 1997 ｷｷｷ Mike Tyson - Summer 1997 ｷｷｷ Beach - July 1997 ｷｷｷ Mistresses & Boyfriends - July 1997 ｷｷｷ Klingons - Summer 1997 ｷｷｷ Princess Diana - Summer 1997 ｷｷｷ Incontinent Nuns - Summer 1997 ｷｷｷ Ironing Board - 10/97 ｷｷｷ Xmas Jokes - 12/18/97 ｷｷｷ Al's 40th - 3/1/98 ｷｷｷ New Job - 3/26/98 ｷｷｷ Hunting Dog - Spring 1998 ｷｷｷ Clinton, Schwarzennegger, Rednecks - 7/3/98 ｷｷｷ Monica and Bill - 9/10/98 ｷｷｷ Wine into Water - 10/1/98 ｷｷｷ Michael Jackson, Indian Prom - 12/3/98 ｷｷｷ Lousy Indian Hunter 12/10/98 ｷｷｷ Xmas - 12/24/98 ｷｷｷ Xmas Driving to Quebec - 12/24/98 ｷｷｷ Blonde, Lawyer - 1/28/99 ｷｷｷ Swallowed Glass Eye - 2/4/99 ｷｷｷ Clinton & Gore in Air Force One - 2/11/99 ｷｷｷ Golf - 4/22/99 ｷｷｷ Gardening - 5/6/99 ｷｷｷ Adam & Eve - 6/10/99 ｷｷｷ Monica Lewinsky - 6/99 ｷｷｷ 4th of July - 7/1/99 ｷｷｷ New Age Music, Blonde & Lawyer - 7/15/99 ｷｷｷ Clinton & McEnroe - 7/29/99 ｷｷｷ Redneck Condom, Blonde & Sperm Bank, Doctor & Lawyer on Vacation - 9/2/99 ｷｷｷ Jen's Puppy - 9/16/99 ｷｷｷ Ryder Cup - 9/23/99 ｷｷｷ German Tampon - 10/7/99 ｷｷｷ Atheist Orgasm, DisneyWorld - 10/14/99 ｷｷｷ Veteran's Day 11/11/99 ｷｷｷ Feminist Leg Shaving - 12/99 ｷｷｷ Valentine's Day - 2/10/00 ｷｷｷ Cripple V.D., Blondes & Seagulls - 2/17/00 ｷｷｷ Impressionist & Cabbie - 3/2/00 ｷｷｷ Politics - 3/9/00 ｷｷｷ Easter - 4/20/00 ｷｷｷ Pope - 5/18/00 ｷｷｷ Blonde w/ Alzheimers, Viagra Prescription - 6/00 ｷｷｷ Blonde & Brunette Orgasms, Drunk & Wife - 6/00 ｷｷｷ Ricky Martin - 6/22/00 ｷｷｷ 4th of July - 6/29/00 ｷｷｷ Shooting Arrows & Kathie Lee - 7/00 ｷｷｷ 10th Anniversary, Hangovers & Women - 7/20/00 ｷｷｷ West Nile Mosquito - 8/3/00 ｷｷｷ Concorde, German Lover - 8/10/00 ｷｷｷ Survivor Richard Hatch - 8/24/00 ｷｷｷ Princess Di - 8/31/00 ｷｷｷ Patriots Stadium Revenue, Olympics - 9/14/00 ｷｷｷ Bobby Knight, Lottery - 10/5/00 ｷｷｷ Patriots/Colts - 10/23/00 ｷｷｷ Petrol, Little Johnny Game - 10/26/00 ｷｷｷ What to Look for in a Woman - 10/26/00 ｷｷｷ Political Jokes ｷｷｷ Thanksgiving Jokes - 11/16/00 ｷｷｷ Illegal Aliens, Florida Ballot, Gore, Florida Bikini - 11/30/00 ｷｷｷ Xmas Jokes - 12/21/00 ｷｷｷ Cornholing Firemen - 12/28/00 ｷｷｷ Southern Fire, Michael Jackson & Boyz II Men - 1/11/01 ｷｷｷ NYC Cabbie, George Bush & Gold Urinal - 1/18/01 ｷｷｷ Foxy Lady - 1/18/01 ｷｷｷ Lincoln Almond's Prostate, Liberace, Matzo Braille - 1/25/01 ｷｷｷ Woman Rising from the Dead, Little Johnny & Heifers - 2/1/01 ｷｷｷ Groundhog & U.R.I. Rams - 2/8/01 ｷｷｷ Clinton Pardon, Lose Wife, Jewish Mom - 2/15/01 ｷｷｷ O.J. Valentine, Go Fly a Kite, Hannibal - 2/22/01 ｷｷｷ More Hannibal - 2/28/01 ｷｷｷ Irish - 3/15/01 ｷｷｷ State Worker, Polish Vasectomy, Quebec Separatist - 4/5/01 ｷｷｷ Jesse Jackson, Easter - 4/12/01 ｷｷｷ Redneck Hunting - 4/19/01 ｷｷｷ Cock Fight - 5/3/01 ｷｷｷ Hockey - 5/10/01 ｷｷｷ Redneck Theater - 5/10/01 ｷｷｷ Dale Earnhart & Jacques Cousteau, Mute Golfer - 5/31/01 ｷｷｷ Mad Cow Disease, Necrophilia - 6/21/01 ｷｷｷ Jim Shorts & Lincoln Almond - 7/5/01 ｷｷｷ Weakest Link (1st Reading) - 7/12/01 ｷｷｷ Gay Website, Adam & Eve - 7/26/01 ｷｷｷ Carry On Luggage - 8/2/01 ｷｷｷ 40th Anniversary, Ball Game, Viagra & Aspirin - 8/2/01 ｷｷｷ Gay Homeless - 8/9/01 ｷｷｷ Blonde, Sunday School - 8/16/01 ｷｷｷ Princess Di - 8/30/01 ｷｷｷ Greek Tampon, Jewish Pedophile (w/ Jim Shorts) - 9/6/01 ｷｷｷ Afghanistans & Arabs - 9/20/01 ｷｷｷ Jewish Jokes - 9/27/01 ｷｷｷ Milk, Potatos, Grease - 10/4/01 ｷｷｷ Halloween - 10/25/01 ｷｷｷ Vagina Costume - 11/8/01 ｷｷｷ Taliban Future - 11/8/01 ｷｷｷ Thanksgiving - 11/15/01 ｷｷｷ Paul's Cousin Bubba - 11/15/01 ｷｷｷ Indian Thanksgiving, Illegal Aliens - 11/29/01 ｷｷｷ Baby Seal, Washington & Jefferson - 12/6/01 ｷｷｷ Over 50 Birth Control, Gays & Condom - 12/13/01 ｷｷｷ Xmas Jokes - 12/20/01 ｷｷｷ

*Other Paul & Al* Fun**
Good Morning Blues Think your life sucks? It could be worse... Don't Play in the Dumpster - Spring 1997 Bellingham Lawn Mower Incident - May 1998 Insufficient Fingerprints - 8/19/98 Chimney Incident - 7/31/00 Cesspool Sinkhole - 9/5/01	Blowin' Chow with Paul & Al Nothing like a gross news item first thing in the morning... Fecal Transplant - 11/28/00 Nose Leach - 12/29/00 Transporting Dead Mom - 1/16/01 Czech Body Parts - 8/27/01 Aussie Cannibal - 11/9/01 Romanian CockRoaches - 12/12/01 Puking State Worker - 12/17/01	Paul & Al's Wide World of Genitalia Foreskin Grafting - 6/98
Pink Floyd Blimp - Mooning Amy Hagan - 5/25/94 ｷｷｷ Corvette Club - Paul Harrington - Fall 1994 ｷｷｷ British Limerick Contest - 11/96 ｷｷｷ SuperBowl XXX - 1/26/96 ｷｷｷ Patriots Opponents - 1/96 ｷｷｷ Goat Testicle Transplants - 1996 ｷｷｷ Al's 38th Birthday - 3/1/96 ｷｷｷ Hermaphrodite & Paul's 40th ｷｷｷ Hermaphrodite ｷｷｷ Jackie O. Letter - First Reading ｷｷｷ Jackie O. Letter - Second Reading ｷｷｷ Patriots Schedule - Spring 1997 ｷｷｷ Sox/Mets - 6/19/97 ｷｷｷ Ask Shagg Sperm Whale Question - 8/98 ｷｷｷ Penthouse Limerick - 8/27/98 ｷｷｷ Al's 40th Birthday - 3/1/98 ｷｷｷ Beer Truck Accident - 7/21/98 ｷｷｷ Translations - 8/5/98 ｷｷｷ Pedro Smoking - 9/25/98 ｷｷｷ Basketball Coach - 1/99 ｷｷｷ Puking Condors - 2/16/99 ｷｷｷ Bruins/Rangers - 3/15/99 ｷｷｷ Spincter Too Big for Toilet - 3/17/99 ｷｷｷ Providence Bruins Parade - 6/99 ｷｷｷ All-Star Game - 7/14/99 ｷｷｷ Evil Aunt - 11/19/99 ｷｷｷ Patriots Stadium Vote - 12/07/99 ｷｷｷ Patriots Stadium Vote (Part 2) - 12/07/99 ｷｷｷ 5:15 - 5/15/00 ｷｷｷ Patriots Training Camp - 7/17/00 ｷｷｷ Evidence Fingers Burglar - 8/7/00 ｷｷｷ Alcoholic Dog - 8/31/00 ｷｷｷ Stupid Potheads - 9/20/00 ｷｷｷ Olympic Opinion - 9/28/00 ｷｷｷ Presidental Election and Patriots Stadium Update - 11/8/00ｷｷｷ First Grade Presidential Voting - 11/17/00 ｷｷｷ Dream Job - 2/5/01 ｷｷｷ Jesse Jackson Apology - 2/7/01 ｷｷｷ Monkey & Coconut - 2/20/01 ｷｷｷ PawSox Hooky Day - 4/25/01ｷｷｷ "The Most Disgusting Human Being in America" - 4/26/01ｷｷｷ An Eyeful A Day - 6/15/01ｷｷｷ News Jen Missed ｷ Eye Removal - 8/9/01ｷｷｷ Skakel Witness - 8/9/01ｷｷｷ Really Stupid Crimes ｷ Chewed Fingers - 8/20/01ｷｷｷ Roger Clemens' War Paint - 10/11/01ｷｷｷ Nose Tweaking - 10/4/01ｷｷｷ Anthrax Press Release - 10/24/01ｷｷｷ Providence Bruins Paint - 11/9/01ｷｷｷ Lord of the Rings / Led Zeppelin - 12/19/01ｷｷｷ Ear Removal - 12/20/01ｷｷｷ Lord of the Rings Review - 12/20/01ｷｷｷ

Backstage !!!
Jethro Tull	Journey	Yes

Bruce Springsteen Rehearsal in Ashbury Park!

SuperBowl XXXVI Fun Click here for photos!

Once again I shaved and painted my head on 's Paul & Al show. This time WB56 in Boston also broadcasted the proceedings live!

Click here to listen to my conversation with Paul & Al the morning after the victory with no sleep.
Listen to the headshaving here!... Arrivalｷｷｷ No Good Side, WB56ｷｷｷ Airport Security, Maniacs,WB56ｷｷｷ Suggestion for NewsChick Jenｷｷｷ WB56 Promoｷｷｷ Jim Shorts, WB Frogｷｷｷ Shaving Beginsｷｷｷ No Good Sideｷｷｷ Mowhawkｷｷｷ AntiChristｷｷｷ Sam Adams Lightｷｷｷ 5" Mowhawk, Ch.12ｷｷｷ Jen Clarkｷｷｷ SuperBowlingｷｷｷ Progress?ｷｷｷ James Bondｷｷｷ Johnny Skidmarksｷｷｷ Stencilｷｷｷ KMartｷｷｷ Painting Commencesｷｷｷ Jim Shorts' Funeralｷｷｷ Calling Rob-boBｷｷｷ Good-Byeｷｷｷ Amy Hagan & Jen Clarkｷｷｷ Charles & Laurenti - In Another Universeｷｷｷ Smelly Headｷｷｷ My Phone Callｷｷｷ The Starter: Br-edsoe

PawSox Hooky Day Pictures (and audio) - 4/25/01

SuperBowl XXXI Click here for photos!

Paul & Al invited me on their show to have my head shaved and painted in preparation for the big game!
Headshaving Planning - 1/14/97 ｷｷｷ Headshaving Promo - 1/16/97 ｷｷｷ More Planning - 1/17/97 ｷｷｷ Patriots Outfit - 1/17/97 ｷｷｷ Gary the Barber - 1/17/97 ｷｷｷ Jim Shorts - 1/17/97 ｷｷｷ Final Preparations - 1/17/97 ｷｷｷ Gel and Wax - 1/17/97 ｷｷｷ Live Mohawking - 1/17/97 ｷｷｷ More Cutting - 1/17/97 ｷｷｷ Mohawk Taking Shape - 1/17/97 ｷｷｷ C.C.'s Phone Call - 1/17/97 ｷｷｷ Limp Mohawk - 1/17/97 ｷｷｷ Done! - 1/17/97 ｷｷｷ Spray Paint Prep - 1/17/97 ｷｷｷ Nice Paint Job! - 1/17/97 ｷｷｷ Interview w. Amy Hagan - 1/17/97 ｷｷｷ Jim Shorts - 1/97 ｷｷｷ Chowdah Hedz - 1/97 ｷｷｷ Jim Shorts in N.O. - 1/97 ｷｷｷ Auto Man - L.A. Update - 1/97 ｷｷｷ Packer Confrontation - 1/22/97 ｷｷｷ Bourbon Street - 1/22/97 ｷｷｷ Day After - 1/27/97 ｷｷｷ Plane Ride - 1/27/97 ｷｷｷ Bus Station Call - 1/27/97 ｷｷｷ Bourbon Street Catheter - 1/29/97

Paul & Al Trips

Here I am at the Rock Garden in London with Paul & Al ｷ November 1996 I was fortunate enough to be able to go on both London trips (click here for photos).
First London Trip I've Arrived! - 11/6/95 Tom Dempsey Anniversary - 11/8/95 British Foods - 11/9/95 One Man Audience - 11/10/95	British Limerick Contest November 1996	Second London Trip Bricks & Cats - 11/96 Samantha Fox - 11/96 Dry Heaves - 11/22/96
Also drove down to the Big Easy to join them for their New Orleans trip... Patriots/Broncos MNF - 10/97 Seat Belt Tan Lines - 10/97

Other Highlights
Paul & Al Mike Schuster Can't Drive 55 - 10/13/92		Rick O'B. WorkForce Request - 10/15/92		Lou Brutus Roger Waters CD - 8/11/92
Charles & Laurenti Big Ass Key Win - 8/23/99 39th Birthday & 420 Club Number 11	Geoff Charles Letterman's Last NBC Show - 6/29/93 Conan O'Brien's 3rd Show - 9/15/93		Dr. Metal Providence Bruins - 6/19/99 Patriots Draft - 4/15/00		Ryan NostraDumbAss - 9/15/01

Birthday Wishes

34thｷｷｷ 35thｷｷｷ 36thｷｷｷ 37thｷｷｷ 38thｷｷｷ 39thｷｷｷ 40thｷｷｷ 40th(420)

Click here for Joke-lopedia information

Here I am (center) with Paul (right) & Al (left). They're signing the very first Joke-lopedias sold for me!!!

ｷPBruins Obnoxious Fan Promotion - 5/10/01

19th Birthday Party Photos - 9/18/00

Survivor Promotion
Click here for larger pictures	Click links below to listen... Charles & Laurenti - 2/28/01 Ryan - 2/28/01 More Ryan - 2/28/01 In the car! - 2/28/01 Paul & Al - 3/01/01

The Full Story Behind the Amy Hagan Mooning Incidents

Here I am with the lovely and
charming Amy Hagan. I think she's smiling because
I didn't moon her here.

The last time Pink Floyd played in Foxboro I was outside washing my Vette and the Division Bell blimp flew right over me on its way from Mansfield Airport to Foxboro Stadium - so I mooned it (it seemed like a good idea at the time).
Later I found out Amy was in it!

The next time I saw her she didn't recognize me so I semi-mooned her to jog her memory. Since then I've been the butt of many jokes. In fact I'm somewhat em-bare-assed by the whole thing.

Click these links to hear the full story... Pink Floyd Blimp - 5/25/94 Stump the D.J. - 8/25/94 Corvette Club of R.I. - Fall 1994
SuperBowl Head Shaving - 1/17/97 PawSox Hooky Day Pictures (and audio) - 4/25/01